Infinity

You take a step backwards. The sun catches your eyelashes and breaks the light into intricate patterns and shapes of colors. The light passes trough your eyes and makes it’s way into your experience. You breathe in the freshness of the air, and the barrier of ice separating you from the rest of the world shatters into millions of crystalline shards, each reflecting the world in it’s entirety, each in it’s own way, but each of them as true and wonderful as any other. You sense the life that streams through you, and through everything else that is, and realize that everything is you, and that you are everything. For one moment you grasp eternity in your hand and infinity runs through your veins.

Thoughts

Whatever it was that I experienced that night, and I put it this way because none of the words I know can really cover it, it might be that it only existed there, for that short moment in time. How truthfully paradoxical, that the most valuable things in life are so miniscule and short-lived, when measured against our traditional way of understanding value. You might think that it was nothing but a mere illusion then, and neither will I try, or have any wish to argue against that opinion. Still, I can say from the depth of my being that it was real. It was as real as these words I am writing, or the air that you are breathing right now. It was real because I shared it with another human being.

This might be the actual nature of reality, for isn’t this how we define existence? That we can, in some unfathomable way, percieve and feel the same things, share them with each other, and in that way agree on their existence? As an example, one might consider the world of our dreams, and compare it to the world we live in during our waking hours. Even though the experience of the world we take part in when we are awake isn’t directly in any way more real than our dreams, since it is still only a product of the activity in our brain, we define it as such, because we can directly share it with our fellow beings. This leads me to ponder that there might not be any other reality than that created through an immeasurable mesh of interconnections between sentient beings.

Maybe the very distinct quality of this experience we shared came to be, because of how we connected with each other. My ability to describe it is lacking, and therefore, I can only try to communicate it by how it felt. It felt as if none of the defences that I normally surround myself with were needed, and as a consequence, they simply vanished. Not because I tried to force them to vanish, or even thought about it. It simply occurred, as naturally as a ball would fall to the floor if dropped. It felt as if my eyes were opened to the world anew, and like the whole of my being suddenly came to rest, stopped arguing with it self, and allowed me to freely express and share ideas and thoughts I had almost stopped hoping anyone would be able to take part in. It felt like I was connected with the very essence of life.

Why am I writing this? I don’t know, really. Suddenly I have come to realise how wonderfully little I know. My best bet is that it’s my strange way of expressing my gratitude towards that very special person.

Not so far away

Sometimes, I think about a place, not very different from where I live today.

Some things are different, though. The way we regard each other, for instance, is different. It is different, because the way we regard ourselves is different.

The way we feel love and joy is different, because the way we feel pain and sorrow is different.

It is place where we sing and dance, not for profit or praise, but because we feel like it, enjoy it, and want to share that feeling.

It is a place where we create music, visual splendor, poetry, and all forms of art, not to earn, but simply to give, and to experience the wonder of creating. Sometimes it seems, that this place is not very far away.

And sometimes, I wonder if the only distance I have to travel to experience this place, is the distance of stepping outside, opening my eyes to the blinding sunlight, and letting myself see the world as for the first time.

You

Water mist
Hazy dark
Ice is melting
through my heart
Worlds appear
and through my sight
i wash away
Whatever words were on my mind
Never saw and never heard
before i touched
and let you leave
Foolish armor
crumbles now
through pain I’m left
without a doubt